If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
