Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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