I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
