I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
