That's intense
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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