Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
