A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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