There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
