It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
