I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dick very happy bro
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
