before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
