Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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