What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize