Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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