This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
