Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
