Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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