He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
