Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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