Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
