It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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