How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
