At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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