have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
