He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
