I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
