one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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