love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
