so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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