i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
