I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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