I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize