there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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