so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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