So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
