Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
