I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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