if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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