I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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