I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize