If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
