two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
