he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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