i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
