Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't deserve a penis
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
