if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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