I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
