Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
