i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize