wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
