his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
