I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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