Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize