My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
